Breathe Easier
After a few months of doctor’s appointments and tests, Neala had her tonsils and adenoids removed as well as her turbinates reduced. She was diagnosed with severe sleep apnea, and after her sleep study, we went to the ear, nose and throat doctor for a follow up appointment. They informed us that she’d greatly benefit from surgery and as she sat contently reading her books in the doctor’s office, he said, “Oh, yeah…we can really help that!” The “that” he was referring to was her Darth Vader breathing which I’d become so used to that I hadn’t realized that our definition of quite and everyone else’s definition of quiet was completely different.
We (Patrick & I) were both a little concerned about the side effects of the anesthesia on such a little person, but it was explained to us that we could wait a while to do the surgery, but that during that time, Neala wouldn’t be breathing well at night. Or, alternately, we could take the risk of one low dose of anesthesia and get it over with. We chose the latter.
Nea’s surgery was scheduled first thing on a Wednesday morning and Patrick (miracle of all miracles) got the day off so we could all be together. They took us back to the pre-op area almost immediately after our arrival and asked us a battery of questions including Neala’s health history and family history, they weighed her (still not up to 20lbs. yet…), took her blood pressure, and measured her. The anesthesia team came in and explained some of the risks, and then our ENT came in and, cool as a cucumber, said she’d be taking her back shortly and that she thought it would take about an hour. The anesthesia team came and gave a dose of versed, and our peppy little gal started to sway and slur a bit. It was nothing that would have gone viral on YouTube, so we didn’t bother with the video. Oh well. Shortly there after, she waved bye-bye and they took her back while Patrick and I did our best to hold back our tears.
Here’s our girl just before heading back to the O.R.
As I’ve said before, we have an incredible support team and they were by our side while we waited for word from the surgical team that Nea was in recovery. The delivery of breakfast burritos, coffee, nuts, trashy magazines, chapstick, deodorant (yay!), and a little owl named Oscar (for Neala), provided some much needed distraction! About an hour and 15 (longest 15 minutes of my life…since our NICU time) minutes later, the surgeon came out and spoke to us in a very dark and quiet room that seemed quite ominous to me. She said the surgery went well and that she removed the adenoids, tonsils, and reduced the turbinates in her nose, a portion of the procedure we’d signed consent for but were not sure would be necessary until the surgeon was able to “get in there and take a look.” She said the adenoids were blocking about 80% of her nasal passageway and that her tonsils were basically touching in the back of her throat and looked like “giant meatballs!” I asked how old her youngest patient to receive this surgery had been and she said, “Nine months, but I’m pretty sure that kid was about the size of Neala.” She said she couldn’t use her usual tools because little Neala is sooo small! Before we were even finished talking to the doctor, a member of the recovery team came to get us because Neala had woken up!
Her little face was swollen and the hospital gown swallowed her. She was very upset and her heart was racing. I sat in the chair and put her on my lap with her head on my chest. Her heart rate lowered and her breathing slowed and she fell back to sleep almost immediately for another hour or so. She choked down some liquid Tylenol and we were then transported to our room on the General Pediatrics Unit where we spent the next two nights.
Thank goodness for Oscar the Owl…he really got us through the worst of the recovery.
The big worry after surgery for a little one is that they can become dehydrated very quickly, so Nea had an IV to keep her hydrated. She was on Tylenol every 4 hours around the clock and her vitals were being checked every 4 hours as well. She never required oxygen after surgery, which we were told was a possibility, and for that, we were thankful. When we first arrived in our room, she seemed to be almost her usual spunky self, but as the anesthesia began to wear off, it became clear that her recovery was not going to be a walk in the park.
She gagged and snorted each time she had to take the Tylenol and wouldn’t eat or drink anything. I do mean anything. Not ice cream. Not smoothies. Not milk. Not chocolate milk. Not water. Not juice. Not popsicles. Not applesauce. Not jello…She finally ate some watermelon and grapes and we were able to bribe her to drink water with a combination of her pacifier and pictures on our phones! We had to track every bite of anything that went in at all and somehow, by the end of the Friday after surgery, we’d hit some sort of minimum requirement for discharge and were sent home.
Homebound after two nights in the hospital and 3 very long days.
For a full 7 days post surgery, our little Neala was not herself. She was clingy and whiny, constantly needing her pacifier, asking for “big hugs” (she is not typically our most affectionate child), not sleeping, not eating, throwing horrible tantrums complete with arching back, flailing, and clapping (who knew that was a thing during a toddler tantrum?), not wanting to play or read or dance (her favorite things). She wanted to be held constantly, except for when she didn’t…see not above regarding tantrums, and no combination of Tylenol and ibuprofen seemed to make a difference. Patrick and I were both so worried that the anesthesia had caused some permanent damage…of course, our collective sigh of relief on day 8 was the only conversation we had about it, for fear that actually saying anything out loud might make it true!
On day 8, the meds seemed to finally be making a difference and, to our huge relief, her little personality and voice came back! We’ve hit a few rough patches since then, and she’s slowly re-learning how to drink and keep the liquid from coming out of her nose, but all in all, I think we are over the worst of it. She’s sleeping like a champ and clearly breathing much easier, though her new favorite thing is to sing and talk to herself for up to an hour and a half after we put her to bed at night!
And…the award for best brother goes to Mr. Rylan. He was a champ! Various grandparents kept him company while we were at the hospital, and when we returned, he was SO sweet to his sister! He also really came out of his shell and is talking much more than before, can put on his own socks and sometimes his shoes, can climb into and out of his high chair, and has come up with a few new dance moves!
Lost But Not Forgotten
Today, October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
Not a single day goes by that I’m not extremely grateful for our vibrant, beautiful, full of personality, kiddos. And not a single day has gone by since that September day in 2012 when I began to miscarry our first pregnancy that I haven’t wondered what might have been. Most days it’s just a whisper, a little tug in my chest or stomach, and other days it’s a flood of unexpected emotion and tears. I often wonder what that lost child would have been like and I imagine the ways their little personality would shine through. I have wondered how our lives would be different if I hadn’t miscarried before our twins were born and it’s really unimaginable. I’m so very thankful that we have this life and I’m positive that this is the way it’s suppose to be.
Since my miscarriage we’ve had several friends and family members struggle with pregnancy loss. Though I can’t ever seem to find comforting words, or even words of encouragement for those experiencing infertility and pregnancy complications, I feel deeply for these women and their partners. Today is a day for remembering and I will light a candle at 7:00 in honor of all those babies who left too soon.
Toddler Sleep Study: Not that Fun
My list of things I never want to do again:
- Toddler Sleep Study
Neala and I went on a girls date last night. To a hotel. For a sleep study. Turns out, the kid has giant tonsils which may be causing her Darth Vader-like mouth breathing and, more importantly, sleep apnea. Of course, one sleepless night was absolutely worth us finding out if her size 3 out of 4 tonsils could be causing life-long problems.
We were instructed to arrive at the hotel at 8:45. This was a bit problematic since bedtime is usually around 7:30. I knew Rylan wouldn’t fall asleep without Neala in the room and I wasn’t sure what to do with Nea for the extra hour, so we went ahead with our bedtime routine and put them both to bed. I packed up all our stuff and we put a very groggy, but awake, Neala in the car and we headed to the hotel.
We had been instructed to report directly to room 436, and arrived there to find several “sleep technicians,” a bank of computers, a refrigerator, and other medical equipment. It was bizzare. We were taken by one of the sleep technicians to our room, which at first glance, looked like any other hotel room and were instructed to get ready for bed and do our normal nightly routine (oops, we’d already done that). I asked if there was a crib available and we were told that we both had to sleep in the bed because of all the wires and the camera mounted on the ceiling.
Neala was in good spirits, and, as per usual, was asking repeatedly about the whereabouts of “Ry Ry.” I’d tell her he was sleeping and she’d jam her index finger up her nose and say, “Shhhhhh!” We waited about 15 minutes and then our assigned sleep technician arrived with a box full of wires, gauze pads, goo (I’m not sure what else to call it), and stickers. She asked if I preferred to have Neala “hooked up” while she was awake or if I wanted to wait until she’d fallen asleep. We decided to go ahead with the application of all the stickers, belts, goo, and cannula while she was awake and she did great! She asked for her brother through the entire application process (about 45 minutes) and said over and over, “Oh cool!” when the tech put a new sticker on her! The girl is a trooper!
Oh cool!
They applied these probes with some nasty goo and it was really hard to get out of her hair!
Each of these wires was connected to our little darling!
When it was all said and done she had around 20 wires connected to her legs, chest, face, and head. She also had a nasal cannula to sense her breathing and it had a little antennae sticking off of it to sense if she was breathing through her mouth, and an oxygen saturation monitor attached to her toe (she hated the O2 probe the most and lifted her foot up to see the little orange light shining under her sock multiple times during the middle of the night and then screamed in anger). The tech explained that there were sensors to monitor if she was dreaming, if she was awake or asleep, her heart rate, if her eyes were open or closed, if she was breathing, and, as mentioned above, her oxygen saturation. I have no idea what the others were for, but hope to find out when we receive the results of the study in a few weeks.
And this pretty much sums it up.
When it was all said and done, it was around 10:00 when we finally tried to fall asleep. Neala took much longer than her usual 5 minutes to fall asleep (I’ve been blessed with kids who sleep pretty well, thankfully) and for the first two or three hours, every time she’d move she would cry for a few minutes. The tech had to come in once to replace the sticker and wire that were stuck to her face closest to her eye. She was NOT happy with this and cried for about 10 minutes. Finally, around 2:30 A.M. we both fell into a deep sleep. Until 5:30 A.M. when the tech came in and started ripping off the stickers, ouch.
Little Neala did well with the removal and we said bye-bye to the stickers and the belts. All day long she’s been saying bye-bye to the stickers and the belts. Poor thing is a bit traumatized.
We went for a celebratory breakfast at a local diner and I knew she’d be OK when she exclaimed, “BACON!” when the waitress brought our food!
As I said above, we expected the results in a few weeks. Well, this afternoon, after writing everything above, my phone rang at it was the sleep center. The doctor said something like, ” Due to the severity of the results of Neala’s sleep study, we wanted to call you right away. She has severe sleep apnea and will need to have her tonsils and adenoids surgically removed.”
I was not prepared for this information. Our little lady sleeps so well, or so I thought. She falls asleep around 7:45 and sleeps until 7:30 or so if her loud brother doesn’t wake her up! Every once in a while, she’ll squeak in the night because she’s dropped her pacifier, but otherwise she is quiet as a mouse. I was also not prepared because I didn’t think we’d receive the results for a few weeks and I had not had time to really prepare myself (or do any research) about what we’re not facing.
We have an appointment with our ear, nose and throat doctor in mid-October where we’ll review the sleep study results and likely schedule a date for surgery.
Here we go again!
My Village
It seems like we hit a new milestone almost daily. I’m not talking about just our kids, but in our lives as adults too. I try to spend some time each week reflecting on how far we’ve come in the past few years. This blog was suppose to be my place to do some of that reflecting, but as we know…it hasn’t worked out that way and for the last several posts I’ve spent some time apologizing for not posting on a regular basis. Again, sorry. But, I have been reflecting on our milestones a bit and was nudged to do so by a friend who posted on Facebook thanking the proverbial village helping to raise her son. We also have a village and I hope all the village people (…YMCA…YMCA…just kidding) know who they are because this would be just like those never ending Oscar speeches if I started listing everyone. The music would have to usher us kindly off the stage. So, here are some of our milestones that would not have been attainable without our village:
Our kids run! All the time. And fall, and laugh, and jump, and cry, and TALK. They talk all the time. About all the things. It’s so awesome! They’ve actually started stringing two words together at a time. Their favorite phrase is, “Hey you!” But they also like to talk about “Wa-wa all gone,” after bath time, and “our car,” whenever we go anywhere. They love to make sure daddy has his backpack when he gets in his car and goes to work and they make sure to say all those things. Neala has spent most of the summer completely obsessed with her brother and every other thing she says is, “Ry Ry?” She makes sure he has his water, hat, socks and shoes, or whatever it is that she also has. It’s so sweet. And little Ry Ry is the sweetest, dolling out hugs (real hugs), and kisses (open mouthed, drooly, amazing) at the drop of a hat. They know animal sounds and are learning colors, though most things are still yellow…no matter what. After writing all that, I think I may have misunderstood the meaning of the word “milestone.” We’ve had so many…it’s been awesome!
The other really major thing that’s happened (you can consider this “milestone” #2), is that Patrick finished his first year of residency. Although, I think it’s better said that the Gilligan family finished Patrick’s first year of residency…right babe? There were long hours, frustrating schedules, solo meals, bedtimes delayed so the kids could see daddy even if just for a moment, trips out of town to get away from the madness, only to be faced with other madness, hospital stays, busted sewer lines (that was a fun one), unpaid bills (oops), long days, and even longer nights. Looking back, all of that is actually dwarfed by the good things, and I’m totally serious about this, I’m not trying to sugar coat things. I’ve always been fairly independent, but this past year has forced me to grow and learn and stretch way out of my comfort zone.
We’ve made some amazing friends, the kind of friends who don’t care if your house is a mess, if your dogs are terribly misbehaved, if your kids practically tear the wall down at their house every time you come over, if you serve leftovers when you ask them over for dinner, and who really don’t mind watching your kids super last minute because something’s come up. I’ve always been one of those people who has a few very close friends and lots of acquaintances, and I met the majority of my closest friends before I hit puberty. It’s amazing to think that I have actually gained a few new best friends just in the last year, so, thanks, residency!
Another totally unexpected facet of my life that helped me through the first year of residency and the first year and a half as a mother of twins: online communities. Yup. I’m a member of a whole bunch of really awesome Facebook groups. Turns out, other people’s experiences can be really useful in navigating the waters of residency, motherhood, picky eaters, home improvement, spider killing, neighbor problems…you name it!
The last thing that made our first year of residency awesome was our yard makeover. I did a whole post about this, but it’s continued to improve and it’s so great to be able to be outside in our own space and to have people over and be proud of our home (except our front yard…thanks again sewer line. Wait, who am I kidding, our front yard has been terrible for years). Also, the kids freaking love it, mostly the gravel part. Good thing we’re spending so much time and water keeping the grass nice.
This post is obviously right on time, already 10 weeks in to our second year of residency. Time flies.
I think this video about sums it up:
I’ve Got that Brush Ranch Feeling
You guys….WE DID IT!!! We had a reunion for a thing that only exists in our hears and memories!
I will attempt a recap of our Brush Ranch Reunion weekend for those of you who were unable to join us. (I will also say that I’m exhausted and this blog platform has been a little weird with adding photos so if it looks sort of weird, that’s why…I can’t deal with it right now).
When the planning committee began meeting in December (was it really that long ago?!), I really wasn’t sure how we were going to pull off this event, especially with mom working and then my kiddos were in and out of the hospital all spring. Registrations started rolling in and as of a few weeks ago we had around 80 folks signed up. I think we were all a bit disappointed and then dad (not on Facebook) went nuts and started calling people left and right. In then end we had around 120 people and a few more than that joined us at Brush Ranch yesterday!
Friday afternoon Roy Johnson, Rachel Maurer, and Angus Macpherson opened registration and smiling faces started pouring into Hotel Albuquerque. We had three rooms full of scrapbooks and had TVs with old videos running. Many people brought photos and scrapbooks to share with everyone and my parents put together many, many binders full of old posed photos of staff and campers from each year. Friday evening we all had a lovely dinner together and enjoyed a sideshow that consisted of around 1,200 slides from the beginning of BR to the very end that was put together by Steve Wolfel. He went so far as to Google the top 100 songs from every few years and included decade appropriate music with the sides! It was incredible to see so many familiar faces in the slideshow and it brought back LOTS of memories! There were brief presentations of a bit of history by Scotty and Kay and then Rachel taught everyone the Jr. Birdman song (I’ll have to do another post on Jr. Birdman…). Later in the evening, Jr. Birdman actually happened which included singing and marching to the pool around 9:30 PM…after, I’m sure, quite a few alcoholic beverages had been consumed. Sadly, I missed this as I was waiting for a drink at the bar…where are my priorities (can you blame me, my kids were home sleeping)?! Ohhhh….and Kay named everyone at the reunion honorary Camper of the Week just for showing up!
Saturday breakfast included an activity where we figured out who spent the most summers at Brush Ranch, the winner was James Congdon with 16 summers!!! (We didn’t count those of us who were born and raised there, or my parents.) Then we loaded up the busses and headed up the Pecos Canyon. If you rode the bus and have any good tales to tell from bus riding, please share them as a comment to this blog post. (I drove the mom-mobile so my children could nap in their carseats). The forecast for the day was not good…something like an 80% chance of rain, but we absolutely lucked out. The weather couldn’t have been nicer. The New Mexico blue sky shone through a few fluffy white clouds and then a thunderhead rolled in as we were loading up the bus.
Still the same…
The Lujan family, who now owns Brush Ranch, were nice enough to open most of the cabins for us and we spent the first hour or two wandering around camp reminiscing and enjoying the sunshine. We had lunch in the Dance Pavilion and then all gathered on the front lawn to sing a few songs and share more memories. I’ll be sure to post what was read by Roy and his crew if they’ll share it with me. After taking a few more photos, we loaded up and headed back down the Canyon with more than one or two tears…
Sharing songs and memories. I will say, my children were especially cute, sharing a hug in the middle of the circle!
Saturday evening consisted of dinner outside and lots more reminiscing and looking at scrapbooks and movies and then we wrapped up with a breakfast this morning. Kay asked each table to come up with a word that described the weekend for them. I was wrangling my children during this and missed most of it (great re-cap, I know), so if you remember what your word was, please post it in the comments of this post! Roy also did a really nice thank you to everyone’s camp mom (and my real mom) and recognized her for the amazing woman she is with a beautiful bouquet of flowers (a bouquet she thought had been sent to Roy!).
I don’t think a chronological recap of the weekend sums up the time we all shared. It was like camp…we all returned to real life at the end of each summer and shared our stories with the friends we had during the school year and it was all just so difficult to explain. The magic of summer camp and specifically of Brush Ranch is indescribable. The mix of people who came this weekend reminded me just how many lives were impacted by Brush Ranch for so, so many generations.
The whole (mostly) group
We hope you’ll join us for the next reunion which will be held somewhere in New Mexico from July 31st to August 2nd, 2020. If you’d like us to send you information on the next reunion (when we start sending it out in a few years), please visit this website: www.postable.com/brushranchcamps , and fill out the form as completely as possible (please share this link with your old BRC friends and family!) and be sure to join the Brush Ranch Camps Facebook Page!
Father’s Day, 2015
On this Father’s Day (once again…I did actually start writing this on Father’s Day…I think I should probably give my blog a new name, “At Least a Day Late and more than a Dollar Short”), I have a few things to share (many are not at all related to Father’s Day and they are in no particular order):
1. I have never been the kind of person to wear headphones and jam out while I exercise, but recently I’ve been really motivated by music. My current favorite song for running is Kanye West’s Jesus Walks.
2. I heard an commercial the other day for Trader Joe’s partially popped popcorn. Do people really like that kernels that end up at the bottom of the bowl that are not quite popped? They sell for $2.49/bag. What?! You can purchase a pound of unpopped popcorn for less than $1.00 and then experiment for days until you achieve the maximum number of unpopped kernels if that’s what you’re into. C’mon people.
3. This one time, for about 8 years, our yard was a terrible desert wasteland covered in goatheads (if you’re unfamiliar, they are the worst, see them here), dog crap, and super fine dust. It was a haven for black widows, roaches, and crickets. We managed to let pretty much anything that was growing that wasn’t a weed die, and the back porch looked like a scene from one of the Terminator movies or something. We HATED going back there and the dogs would bring so much dust in every day that I began to hate even being in our house. I’m a big fan of before and after pics, so here goes…
Would you want to hang out here?
Pretty much all the green in this pic (except for the weeds) is actually in our neighbor’s yard.
And then, several of the greatest fathers I know (mine, my father in-law, my soon to be brother in-law, and the father of my children, plus my awesome brother…not yet a father) took an entire week (and then a bit more) and worked their fingers to the bone to make our yard a place where we want to actually spend time! During…
Here we go….
Thankfully, we rented the world’s tiniest Bobcat to help us move dirt and gravel. We did have to take out the side gate to get it into the yard, but it was well worth it (if for nothing else than to watch my husband take a sledgehammer to the concrete blocks!)
Getting there…
Check it out! There’s green stuff on the ground!
And the kids constantly fight over that little car.
Yay!
Stuff is actually GROWING back there!
The kids love to play in the rocks more than anything. Of course.
So, a big FAT THANK YOU to the dads out there that made this happen for us. You guys are the best. Sorry I’m over a month late. My bad.